Friday, February 4, 2011

We're getting close!

Unlike her older sister, this little girl isn't beating around the bush trying to enter this world. Even though my due date isn't for another three weeks, Cadence should be here by next weekend whether she likes it or not. I think if she could have Addison would have stayed in my belly. When they finally induced me with her I was at my due date and my body was making almost no progress. With this little one my body is raring to go. As of yesterday I am 2 cm. dialated and 60% thinned out. That fact this is happening three weeks out is amazing compared to nothing happening at all with Addison.

I am hoping she comes very soon on her own but thanks to more gall bladder issues, the Doctors will induce after my appointment next Thursday if she isn't here yet. I was made to promise that I would keep my legs crossed when it came to more babies until my gall bladder is finally taken care

A part of me is excited we have come to the end of this journey. I am miserable beyond belief. I wasn't chasing after an eleven month old during my last pregnancy! I am also excited to finally meet this little girl. The other part of me though is scared out of my mind. I am so worried about how I am going to juggle raising a one year old with a newborn. I am so afraid that I won't be able to give either one of the girls the attention that they both deserve and require. I know I won't get to sit around all day holding my precious newborn like I did with Addison because let's face it, Addison is still 100% dependent on me and there won't be time to snuggle with Cadence all day long. That leaves me with guilt for Cadence for not getting as much one on one time with me as her sister did and then I have guilt because during those moments that I am able, Addison will be lacking. What's a mother of two babies going to do?? I know this is one big learning experience for me and after a short while the girls and I will get into a lovely groove and all of these worries and guilty moments will be a thing of the past but until then I can't help but panic a little.

Here's hoping that my next post includes a picture of a lovely little girl who we will all have just met! Keep us all in your thoughts in prayers.